Mini Minimalist Interview: Denise

Today's mini-minimalist interview is with Denise. Denise blogs over at Musings and Ponderings from the Blunderosa. I met Denise through cardio-kickboxing.

So… I have a tendency towards random ponders.  Kristen flattered me in asking for my ponders on minimalism, Thanks, Kristen!  

My name is Denise.  I am a Social Worker, wife, mother, outdoor adventurer, volunteer and several other adjectives.  I have been married for almost 25 years this year.  We live in the “wilderness” of Northeast Kansas.  It is gorgeous country to me and I love living here.  My wonderful husband, Marcus, designed our home.  We live here with our awesome son, Marek, who is 13 years old.  I love the outdoors and enjoy gardening, hiking, wogging, kayaking, camping, motorcycling and a few indoor things as well!  I also love listening to Marcus and Marek play music and talk baseball.  

I think minimalism applies to all of life – possessions, habits, scheduling, goal setting etc.  I love the idea of minimizing possessions and would happily minimize several gajillion as well as a few habits, however, when you are in a family you must compromise!!  The idea of minimalism is likely implemented more effectively when you are single, newly married or have talked minimalism over thoroughly to determine how you each stand on the issue.  The desire to minimize also appears to suddenly kick in when you are planning to move or retire!  

Our family has succeeded in compromising on possessions for the most part.  I am less sentimental than the guys.  They each have long memories and tend towards the nostalgic.  Sometimes this is frustrating to me and my heartlessness towards nostalgia is frustrating to them!  It is an active process to compromise for the good of our living space.  

 We are a very active family.   Marek participates in a wide variety of activities and so do we.  We balance our individual activities and our family activities.  For Marcus and me, much of our time is spent on Marek’s activities.  From academics at school to 4H meetings and church activities, we support, encourage, sponsor, coach, lead, transport and hang out with Marek and his friends.  We enjoy all of these activities with him and for him.  We work to minimize and manage the schedule so that we have family time and so that we each have time for our individual interests and hobbies.  We also try to fit in some couple time.  

The thing is, I love being busy with things that I love doing.  Usually the guys feel the same.  The big trick for me is not necessarily to minimize, but to manage our interests and activities.  It’s hard because even doing things you love can become a serious drag without down time or “free choice” time, time to go with the flow.  THIS randomly brings me to my other random thoughts about life!

I think that the MOST important thing is attitude!  A positive attitude that is!  It seems so simplistic but seriously, staying positive about pretty much everything makes it all better!  Minimize doing things that you don’t like to do if possible.  Everything else deserves a positive attitude.  After all, we have all chosen to do the things we do and to have the things we have.  If you don’t like it, you can change it!  If you don’t like it and can’t change it then change your attitude about it!  If the change involves compromise then be willing!  Cultivate a positive attitude about it and all those involved.  This sounds simple, but of course, it is difficult to stay positive when things get tough.  It is hard work but it’s worth it.  I refuse to go through life disgruntled, dissatisfied or unhappy with my usual fare.  If at all possible, stay focused on the good things in your life and minimize those things that aren’t working.  Having a positive attitude about things in your life will make a difference and will impact the others in your life.   Perhaps this is my form of minimalism, I am working to minimize negativism and to embrace the positive.  And you know what?  It really works!! 

Caveat:  Negativism is not the same as sadness.  It doesn’t minimize the standard range of emotions. You still feel negative emotions but you choose a positive response to these feelings instead of allowing yourself to go down the path of negativity.  Just say no to malicious gossip, selfishness, anger and revenge!

Mini Minimalist Interview: Nolan

Today's Mini Minimalist Interview features Nolan from Lawrence, Kansas. Nolan is my boyfriend. After several years working high-paying but also high-stress corporate jobs, Nolan transitioned to become a high school teacher & coach.

1. What is your current living situation?
   I am single (legally speaking) and living in an apartment.


2. What do you think of when you think of "minimalism"?
   As a lifestyle, I believe it's a really good thing. As Americans, we have all become too consumed by our wants and not focusing on our needs. You can't walk into many American households that don't have cabinets and refrigerators filled with things people never or seldom consume. Our closets are filled with clothes we only wear once or twice and everyone surely has that pair of shoes that they have never worn, but they thought looked cool at the store.
   
   In my past lifestyle, I had to have the biggest and best things. Now I have a smaller tv and just what I need to get by. I'm not sure if I was able to afford all the bigger and best things that I would do it. I have met someone who shares many of the same thoughts I do on food and life, and now I feel like my accomplishments and my experiences are what I want to make my life full and rich. While, I am not a true minimalist, I do believe I will live for what I need instead of what I want all the time.


3. What about daily life can be stressful? What do you like about daily life?
   My job can be very stressful, but it's a stress that I can enjoy most of the time. Money is somewhat stressful these days because I am still not used to living off of the budget that I have for myself. However, I seem to get better every month.
   
   I love to win and make people smile. When I compete as a coach, I love to win, and when I lose I try to find reasons why and how I can improve. I love cooking and sharing that food with loved ones and people I care about. Making people laugh is probably the best part of daily life, and winning would be a close second, but not nearly as important.


4. What are some of your hobbies? Do you collect anything?
   Working out has become a large hobby that I used to despise. Now, conditioning my body and mind is very important to me. My girlfriend helps keep my mind exercised with great conversations and companionship. Having a girlfriend also motivates me to work on my body because if I feel better about me I can ultimately support her better.
   
   I love cooking and also traveling, those are my two favorite things. I collect pint glasses, I have a large variety of them and it allows me to have keepsakes from my travels. I love music; I have tons of music, even some I have never listened to. I also love analog clocks; the ticking sound is soothing to me. I used to have one on every wall. I will eventually have one on every wall again someday.


5. What are some of your most prized possessions?
   I have a Silver Dollar (Morgan) from 1882 that my grandmother gave me before she passed away. I keep it with me daily. I've carried it nearly every day for the last 10 years. I have misplaced it a few times but always left it somewhere in which I found it again. Also, my most prized “possessions” are my experiences from my travels and the stories I will be able to pass to my friends and future family generations.


6. What are one or two things about life you'd like to "minimize”?
   I don't need as much 'STUFF' as I have. I'd also like to minimize my body weight, which is very important to me. I'd like to minimize needless stress, but not at the cost of losing my competitive edge or my mental focus.


7. Any other thoughts?
   My grandmother and grandfather taught me that life is about the journey. I'd like to live that to the fullest. My parents and grandparents have forged a hardworking lifestyle so that I could experience the things in life that they never could. I would like to seek out these opportunities and do this for my children and my friends. I want to pass on a legacy of knowledge and experiences that my family and children can pass on and on for future generations.

Mini Minimalist Interview: Kristine

Today's Mini Minimalist Interview features Kristine from Utah.

1. What is your current living situation?
   Family house


2. What do you think of when you think of "minimalism"?
   I think of simplicity and outdoor living.  Reducing clutter. Donating unused belongings. Cutting back on purchases. Setting priorities. Borrowing books at the library. Seeing the world through a child’s eyes. Taking a walk in the springtime. Visiting the local farm. Participating in a trail running race, the kind without expos.


3. What about daily life can be stressful? What do you like about daily life?
   Commuting. Enough said. 
   I enjoy spending time with family and friends, running, and teaching students.


4. What are some of your hobbies? Do you collect anything?
   My favorite hobbies are hiking, trail running, spending time with family, reading, listening to music, and photography. I enjoy organizing photos and collecting postcards, as reminders of fun trips!


5. What are some of your most prized possessions?
   Family photos and race medals. The photos are memories of special family times while the medals are reminders to keep working hard when the going gets tough.


6. What are one or two things about life you'd like to "minimize"?
   I’d like to minimize and organize emails. I cannot keep up with all the work and personal emails in my inbox! Also, I’d like to donate extra clothes, limit media (web surfing, television), and cancel catalog mail.


7. Any other thoughts?
   I highly recommend the Four-Hour Work Week book by Timothy Ferriss. This book provides helpful tips on the journey toward minimalism, since I have not arrived at the destination yet! Just note the disclaimer that not all the principles may apply to service professions!

Mini Minimalist Interview: Joyce

Today's Mini Minimalist Interview features Joyce from Lawrence, Kansas. Joyce is.......... my mother!

I really wouldn’t say that I am a full blown minimalist (stark home, only ten hangers in the closet),
however, I feel like I am increasingly becoming a person who wants to be surrounded by less. I don’t
want a museum, I don’t need to be stocked and ready for every situation, and I like the mental and
physical breathing room of open space. I don’t want my “stuff” to ultimately limit my portability, my
time, my resources and my availability either to God or to people.

When we had a house full of children, it was easy to “blame” excess and acquisition on our kids. As
empty nesters, we find ourselves as being the point where the buck stops. Each of our children DOES
seem to have an ample stash left in our home that they supposedly will claim “someday”, but this is
reasonably well contained. My husband and I have felt the liberty, however, to divest ourselves of many
items that were more useful in a different season of life. (Yes, we have kept the Barbies, the Legos and
the other classic toys that our grandkids will enjoy!)

I have tried over the last few years to make various changes to reduce and simplify the excess baggage
that has piled up. I’m not a Feng Shui person, but one time a friend who is a practitioner told me that
her cardinal rule is to surround yourself with things you love and that make you happy, and to not feel
the least bit bad about parting with the rest. Good advice. Example: Knitting sets off my tendinitis –
why keep a giant box of yarn and a full array of needles and patterns?

The benefits have been clear to me. When I clean out the excess, it becomes easier to access what I
need. There’s less to maintain. I no longer feel guilt pangs about not eating/using/wearing items that
I never liked. Time for them to go into the trash, or into the hands of someone who would like them. I
find myself desiring less, because I am happy with what I currently have.

My best success at moving forward is with setting small attainable goals. I can sift through a closet, a
shelf, or an area. Results are quickly visible, and the task doesn’t take an overwhelming amount of time.

I read somewhere that typical Blog readers are looking for voyeuristic intimate secrets. And now for a
few deep dark revelations regarding my “no guilt” kitchen purge -

• You know those cookbooks that only have one go-to recipe? I’ve copied off those single recipes to file in a notebook and donated the cookbooks to the library book sale.
• Since doing Weight Watchers, our eating habits have radically changed and I’ve eliminated cookbooks that are simply vehicles for consuming cheese, cream soups, and various forms of fat.
• Time to revisit the stack of recipes I’d clipped from a magazine or printed from the internet. Save or toss? Most got tossed.
• I cleaned out my cupboards, pantry and freezer of anything that was expired, overlooked or had been around for more than a year. I got rid of all the spices that were more than 18 months old. I was embarrassed and horrified by how much I tossed. I’m now shopping smarter, utilizing what I have, and wasting less. Fresh is so much better.

No, I’m not ready to get down to nothing but the bare bones, as I love creature comforts and items that
bring pleasant memories. However, it has been good to learn that I can enjoy those things even MORE
when I’m actually surrounded by LESS.

Mini Minimalist Interview: Melody

Today's Mini Minimalist Interview features Melody. She included her own introduction, so here goes!

Anyone who knows me and stumbled across my blog about uncomplication is probably doubled over in hysterical laughter right now. If you don't know me, I'll catch you up. I'm Melody. I was born and raised in the Dallas metroplex, and still live in the area. I say “y'all,” could be described as “high-maintenance,” am an only child, am too blunt for my own good, teach middle school choir, own a home, have 2 dogs, and am happily married to Kristen's brother, Michael.


So.... how do I uncomplicate my life? First, the complicators/stressors:

1. I am super-duper picky about my home and office. Order brings me calm, but disorder brings me panic. The first thing I do when I feel stressed is usually clean something. Yes, it borders on OCD.
2. My husband is the complete opposite. I don't mean to bash him at all, it just is what it is. He sees no problem in leaving his stuff anywhere and everywhere because it is his house. I see his logic, but it bugs me. Being Kristen's brother, he is an advocate of the idea of decluttering, but (unlike Kristen) not if it means getting rid of any of his stuff. See stressor #1.

Now what?


Regarding stressor #1, physical surroundings: I have adopted several practices from flylady.net. If you haven't, go check it out. It will literally change your life. The idea is to shoot for “better” instead of “perfect,” by completion of fewer tasks instead of incompletion of more tasks. Doing one load of laundry from hamper to drawer is better than doing 3 loads and leaving your couches covered in clean clothes- that sort of thing. She also encourages cleaning/tidying 15 minutes every day so you don't have 3 hours worth of housework to do during your precious weekend. It works.

The other thing I've learned from Fly Lady is that less stuff=cleaner house. I have taken roughly 10 trash bags full of stuff to Goodwill in the past year or so, and I haven't missed any of it. These are my criteria for keeping something:

1. Does it perform a task or serve a purpose that cannot be equally served by another multipurpose object? If yes, then it stays.
2. Does it bring me pleasure to have it around me? I enjoy a beautiful home. It truly makes me happy, and therefore, the things that make it beautiful have value. If I don't really like it, it probably goes, unless it falls into category #3 which is...
3. Is it sentimental to me or my husband? Sentiment is a hard category because it is subjective. My mother would argue that anything I ever touched is sentimental. I tend to be a little more discerning. I try to keep things that already fall into category 1 or 2. If my only concern is that someone might be offended to find out I got rid of it, then it goes. I don't get to decide what stays in other people's houses, and they don't get to decide what stays in mine.

Regarding stressor #2, living with a wild animal a 13 year old boy a wonderful, if not neat-and-tidy, husband:

1. I ask for help when I need it. It seems so simple, but it makes a big difference. Instead of internally grumbling about why he didn't do this or didn't do that or I-bet-he-doesn't-even-care-that-I-do-all-this-housework, I ask him for help. I provide a specific task that he can do and ask nicely. It not only cuts down my to-do list, but it also helps ease any resentment I might be tempted to feel. Over time, he has learned which tasks I ask him to do the most, and often does them without being asked. I appreciate him making changes that don't come naturally to him, and it encourages me to work harder to do the same for him.
2. I understand and accept that different people have different standards of cleanliness and order. Michael will never be like me and that does not make him a serial killer. Instead, it means that he is naturally more gifted at relaxation and “letting go” than I am, and I need to value and learn from that. Translation: this is my problem, not his.
3. I no longer run around after my husband cleaning/tidying to my standards. When I did, I just ran myself ragged and hated everyone around me. For example, Michael likes to leave his bag and shoes anywhere in the kitchen/breakfast room/living room, which is the area that gets the most traffic. He also leaves his dirty clothes anywhere in the bedroom. Some are dirty, some can be worn again, some need to be mended or dry cleaned, and I have no idea which are which. I used to follow him around, “fixing” everything. I was miserable, and he hated not being able to find anything because I moved it. Now, I have designated a space that I choose not to stress over- his side of the bedroom. When he leaves something out and it bothers me, I put it over there and leave it until he decides to move it. I no longer try to figure out what is going on with the clothes on the floor. If he wants them washed, he knows where the hamper is. This tiny change has freed me from lots and lots of stress and resentment, and it has freed Michael from feeling like I'm always moving his stuff.
4. I do my best to declutter when Michael isn't home. If there is something of his that I would like to get rid of, but I don't know if he would miss it, I put it in the “6 months” bag. The 6 months bag is a trash bag in the laundry room full of stuff that I couldn't decide whether or not to get rid of. I take it to Goodwill in April and October without looking inside. If nobody has missed it in 6 months, it can go. I love love love the 6 months bag. I do it for my own stuff, too. It takes away the anxiety of decluttering without inhibiting the removal of stuff. Awesome.

Lastly, I don't make changes just to make them. If something isn't bothering me, then I leave it alone. I am not constantly scrutinizing my life for things that need to be different/better. That creates unnecessary self-doubt. “If it ain't broke, don't fix it” frees up a lot of time and energy better spent on pursuing things that bring me joy.


After all, isn't joy the point of all this?

Mini Minimalist Interview: Alicia

Today's Mini Minimalist Interview is with Alicia from Kansas City. Alicia and I were born in the same hospital three days apart, met five years later and have been friends ever since! We were roommates for several years recently until she got married:

1. What is your current living situation?
   Married in an apartment


2. What do you think of when you think of "minimalism"?
   Getting rid of crap you don't need/want


3. What about daily life can be stressful? What do you like about daily life?
   Cleaning up clutter around the house/having a lot of things to do making my day really busy to the point of no breathing. Getting a good night's rest the night before and feeling like I have some important tasks to achieve and then feeling good at the end of the day that I achieved all or most of them.
   


4. What are some of your hobbies? Do you collect anything?
   Teaching fitness classes/reading/hanging out with friends. And I don't collect anything.


5. What are some of your most prized possessions?
   My downtime, free time, my husband ;)


6. What are one or two things about life you'd like to "minimize"?
   I would like to be not so busy but currently I like the things I'm doing and feel like life is for the most part balanced.


7. Any other thoughts?
   I definitely like the idea of minimizing stuff and living a more simple life. Jeff and I don't have cable or even bunny ears right now. We do have Netflix and I just like not having to HAVE to watch a show at a certain time. It's very freeing. Plus I just think that there isn't much that I want to watch on TV.

Mini Minimalist Interview: Britt

Today's Mini Minimalist Interview features Britt from Lawrence, Kansas. I met Britt through Cassy (April 2nd's interviewee). Britt blogs over at Snapurly:

1. What is your current living situation?
   I currently live in a house. Having lived in a dorm, three apartments, a townhouse, and two houses during my adult life, the house is by far my favorite residence. It is bigger than the rest (always helpful for those nights you have friends over for game/movie night or want to be home but not around your roommate and their significant other during their date night); you can enjoy the pleasure of having your own yard; and you do not have to use the cable and utility providers that are forced upon you in a more communal setting. However, a house is also the worst for a minimalist. There are more spaces (basement, garage, extra closets, cabinets, possibly sheds) to hide your stuff and mask the fact that you are a maximumist.


2. What do you think of when you think of "minimalism"?
   Before a couple of years ago, the first thing that I would think of when I heard minimalist was someone who was either a nomad or had nomad-like tendencies. They didn't have a lot because they 1) didn't have a lot of money and 2) were constantly moving for one reason or another. However, I have altered my definition in recent years. Now, I consider a minimalist someone who is not materialistic. They are disciplined enough to only purchase what they need and nothing else.


3. What are some of your hobbies? Do you collect anything?
   One of the primary ways I display my maximumist ways is my DVD and book collections. I love a good story and because of this accumulated a nice bunch of each over the years. Instead of going to the library to borrow a book I desired to read, I bought it from the store. Instead of renting from the video store, I purchased the movie from a retail store. Even after several trips to Hastings to sell some books and DVD's, I still have an above average collection of both mediums in my possession.


4. What are one or two things about life you'd like to "minimize"?
   I would like to minimize two things in my life: the amount of stuff I own and the amount of time I spend on things that are not value-added. I come from two parents who I love but skew towards the "packrat" end of the spectrum. It is no surprise, then, that I have a similar habit myself. It always amazes me, and will amaze me in a few months once more, that whenever I move, I have a lot of stuff? I don't recall getting all of it, but yet there it is in front of me. What's worse, I don't recall using over half of it in the past month or two! If I don't need it, then what's the point of having it? I also desire to cut out the time I spend on things that are frankly, time wasters. There is nothing wrong with sitting down and watching a TV show or reading a book. But if I am watching 2-4 hours of TV a night, or spending all evening reading only fiction novels, that is taking away from things that could help me grow as a person: exercising, reading my Bible, getting tasks done around the house, developing relationships with friends and family, etc. This is not always the case with me, but let's say it occurs more frequently than I would like.


5. Any other thoughts?
   One last thought on maximumism. In my opinion there is a direct correlation between being a maximumist and debt. As I look around and take an inventory of my stuff, all I see are dollar signs. I have wasted so much money buying things that I wanted but didn't need. Now, those things just sit around gathering dust and even if I sell them, will make back only a small percentage of what I paid for it. I have learned my lesson and am in the midst of paying off the debt currently on my books but what really irks me is that it did not have to be that way. I have a couple of friends who would most certainly qualify as minimialists and guess what? They are both debt free. There is no greater motivation to working towards becoming a minimalist than to be in the same position they are right now.