This isn't coming from a personal crisis of self-loathing, a tanking of my self-esteem or false humility. Although it's a reversal of what modern culture is telling us ("you deserve a break today", "because you're worth it", "your way right away", ad nauseum), who we are and what we do cannot instantly make the universe owe us anything, whether possessions, experiences, opportunities, power, recognition, our own way, an extra cookie or even a close parking spot to the grocery store. And just because THEY got one doesn't mean I deserve one too.
And it's been amazing. I had no idea that the process of losing entitlement could be so personally freeing. Entitlement is merely a set of lies (yes, lies) we believe about ourselves & our future. For me, this shift is an attitude change that is happening slowly, but it's like dropping a ton of bricks one by one. Talk about simplification! This is probably the biggest attitude shift toward simple I've had since I started blogging.
Instead of banking on the future being perfect because, well um, I AM perfect, I can recognize that life happens. The rain falls on the good, the bad & the ugly. That doesn't mean I can't try to put up an umbrella, but I'm not in control and that's perfectly ok. For years, my focus has primarily been on the future through worrying, trying to plan, & trying to control situations. I've missed out on a lot of what's happening right now though. I've missed out on a lot of joy and peace too!
One of the first steps toward losing entitlement was majorly upping my attitude of gratitude. Not to go all happy-crazy or Pollyanna, but focusing on gratitude not only decreases overall negative attitudes, but it brings our attitude back to a realistic place of who we are & how much other people do for us.
It's very amusing, but I am enjoying being surprised by good things that happen.
- Fun new friends
- Excellent conversations with old friends
- Learning ultimate tennis
- Taking a new class through Parks & Rec
- My kickboxing ladies who keep on coming back for more torture
- A great Saturday lunch
- An amazing backup of friends and family
- Pita Chips